hi friends,

this week's live life letter holds very dear to my heart. I am going to get very personal and vulnerable. this letter is dedicated to The Class of 2025: The Stellar Class. (y'all are no longer babies):

I love y'all to the Moon and back.

as I write for my younger self, I have felt myself incorporating and integrating all past versions of me, my past selves [cells] into my present being. it's a weird "neural pathway" that I have found really fulfilling and eudaimonic — a deeper form of well-being that involves living a life of purpose and virtue.

eudaimonia is the greek word for "good spirit" or "flourishing" and this week has been the epitome of this word.

as I have been reflecting on this journey thus far, specifically to the live life letters, I have been learning and connecting many things.

I have been Synthesizing a ton of Spiraling Thought Paths.

Upwards and Downwards. Left to Right. I have been seeing many signs and connections. Feeling the strong signals of the Universe. And experiencing many Synchronicities. Leveling up my Awareness.

My Mind is in Motion.

2025 is approaching around the corner and I have many crazy ambitions and fun adventures lined up so I do hope you stay tuned for that.

I've realized that most of these letters in the pipeline can be read standalone, by itself. but I really do encourage you, the reader, to challenge yourself and read from the beginning. [this is the third letter in the series of nine]

the origin point is meta-awakening

personal context: listened on 12.4.24 after dropping my Grandpa Filemon Ochave off to the airport for his flight to the Philippines. We sat and drank coffee. I made him cry (more details in the newsletter below). Following that, I listened to this for 2 hours straight in the library while outlining this week's newsletter.

While I did my spiral writing. Full immersion with my Sony Headphones.

My "heavenly cloud ears" I use to get in the flow:

https://amzn.to/4f1NXMd (affiliate link if you want to be Santa Claus this year)

can you feel the movement of your mind and soul?

the pushes and pulls?

the ins and outs?

it may be disorienting - no, it is very disorienting when you are first unaware of it. but what is disorientation in the 4th dimension? it's inevitable to feel disoriented when moving "dimensions" or between differing levels of awareness.

transcendence is not easy and sometimes requires great sacrifice. the loss of innocence and bliss. the law of equivalent exchange.

is this natural? what natural forces of the universe are acting upon us?

this pull onto the soul?

this push of the heart?

this expansion of the mind?

this God in my heart?

…

You are going crazy, my friend.

You are spiraling out of control. Stop worrying your family. You are going to end up becoming a massive black hole if you continue spiraling like this.

Don't you feel it? The darkness is calling you. The darkness will consume you if you aren't careful. Will you let it happen again?

You are naive to think that you can master this spiral. That you are in control.

Into the Storm we go.

This is a call back to the birth of the soul [001] from meta-awakening with Pandora's Box. Once we open this Box, you can't close this rabbit hole.

Do you want to open it? Don't say I didn't warn you.

last night [12.4.24] I was spiraling with so many ideas.

ideas generating from ideas. branching from one to another. spiral thoughts. spiral mental model. spiral thinking. connecting concepts unseen before is the essence of what an upward spiral does. but, like a tornado, whirlpool, or blackhole, it's easy to lose control if left on it's own. it requires immense mental and spiritual energy to make sense or even capture it all coherently in your mind.

the key word here is coherently because this may be the distinct difference between a divine sense and divine madness. between genius and schizophrenia. between art and shit on the wall (excuse my language).

don't lose yourself.

you might drive yourself insane to infinity [and beyond]. your mind may move beyond the clouds. you need to stay grounded too. to have an anchor point. a tether that connects you to reality. this is key for transcending and including.

people will think you are crazy. they won't understand your symphony of ideas.

as the great creative force of our generation once said…

Truth is stranger than fiction.

don't become some isolated nonsensical wizard sage who makes no sense, because then, you might become crazy. your cognitive faculties could prove unreliable and your sense of the world could be derailed or off-base. that's a black hole you can never return from. it would be extremely difficult to get out.

it's okay to take a breathe once in awhile and become present in the moment. mindfulness and awareness is very important here. develop your meta-awareness. if you are currently blind, go learn how to see [last week's newsletter].

close Pandora's Box?

Hi ChatGPT, you mind helping me out here?

We don't have too much time to delve into Greek history and mythology, but we need a little piece of juice and fruit from you.

Please bless us with your knowledge.

The story of Pandora's Box comes from Greek mythology and is a tale that explains the origin of human suffering. Here's a summary:

According to the myth, Pandora was the first mortal woman, created by the gods on the orders of Zeus. He wanted to punish humanity after Prometheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to humans. Hephaestus, the god of craftsmanship, shaped Pandora out of clay, and the gods gave her various gifts: beauty from Aphrodite, cunning from Hermes, and curiosity from Hera, among others. Her name, "Pandora," means "all-gifted."

Pandora was given a jar (often mistranslated as a "box") as part of her dowry when she was sent to Earth. Zeus instructed her never to open it, knowing that her curiosity would eventually compel her to do so.

After Pandora was sent to Earth and married Epimetheus (Prometheus' brother), her curiosity overwhelmed her. She opened the jar, and out poured all the evils of the world: sickness, death, envy, greed, and other forms of suffering. These misfortunes spread rapidly, afflicting humanity.

When Pandora realized what she had done, she quickly closed the jar, but it was too late to stop the evils from escaping. However, one thing remained trapped inside: hope. This part of the myth is often interpreted in different ways. Some see it as a silver lining, suggesting that even in the midst of suffering, hope is always present. Others argue that hope's entrapment means it is inaccessible to humanity, deepening the tragedy.

Pandora's Box is a cautionary tale about curiosity and the unintended consequences of human actions. It also reflects on the duality of life, where suffering exists alongside the promise of hope.

Reflection Point: this a metaphor boy. ChatGPT is the modern day Pandora's Box to the Digital Renaissance. Wake up!

At the end of the day, ChatGPT is a language model and tool that helps us translate and organize the mess that is the Internet, the collective human spirit, through open sources and open loops of nests and queries…

[I'm pulling shit out my ass from my few classes on SQL and IT classes from the McIntire School of Commerce :P]

(ChatGPT can't make meta-comments like these :b)

Read between the damn lines. You are a Human Being with a Gift.

You aren't a Bot, my friend.

Bot behavior is letting ChatGPT write your entire story for you.

They cannot replicate your exact ideas, emotions, or connections. They can't capture your unique flow of neural pathways. They can't copy your spiral of personality, DNA, family background, life experiences, creative spirit, your beautiful intuition, the meaning of life, or the complete randomness that is you.

Unless, of course, you plan to upload your entire consciousness, soul, and being into the Internet through Neuralink. But that's another rabbit hole we won't go down yet. I hope.

Also, why is it that the women are always being blamed from all these stories and folk tales. Us men are to blame too! [I love my girlfriend…]

The Storm has cleared. Actually, we are in the Eye of the Storm. This is the best view to observe the Amazing Spiral.

There are 3 planes of existence:

Before any form of "wealth" can be built in any, it must be first built in either the mental or spiritual plane. You must begin with the end in mind. To develop a vision for yourself of your dream state, your dream life. You must find it in yourself to move in that direction and break your own limiting beliefs. This is what holds your true potential and the main barrier between you and your life's work.

Do not specialize or focus on one component in life. You will pigeon hole yourself and shoot yourself in the foot. Focus on one aim. One mission. One dream. The rest will follow when you follow your Heart and your Soul's Intuition.

Now let's get a lay of the land. It's time to find a map.

C: My friend, you have done a lot of research, what does it all mean?

J: it's been a fun rabbit hole to explore, alice in wonderland.

M: Are you okay?

J: never been better, thank you for your concern.

C: It's time to share.

C: yes, this will suffice.

J: I am still unsure. there's so much academia research, I feel overwhelmed. I have only hit the tip of the iceberg. there's still so much work I haven't grasped fully.

C: You have a deadline. Work with what you got.

J: I hate this.

In Ego Development Theory, our minds can move in three ways.

Think of it like a cup of water being filled and expanding your cup's volume.

Now, if we look back into the history of mankind, it's clear to see how groups within society have evolved overtime. From nomadic living, to farm, to the industrial age, to today, we as a society have collectively moved up the spiral and waves of evolutionary development. More of the population have become "larger cups" of water.

Still, as we move up the spiral, we notice there is a Radical Phase Shift (see graph above and below) between 1st-tier thinking and 2nd-tier thinking. In the context of the Live Life Letters, we refer to this as a Meta-Awakening. The quantum leap of consciousness and awareness.

Due to the many barriers, it is difficult and very rare for an individual to move from 1st to 2nd-tier. The majority of the globe are 1st-tier thinkers. 2nd-tier thinkers encompass maybe 1-5% of the population (ChatGPT).

I have hope that this percentage will grow higher. I honestly believe that this percentage might actually be larger following COVID-19 but I may be biased.

2nd-tier thinkers can hold multiple perspectives simultaneously and resolve contradictions without being overwhelmed. They are able to see the partial truths within the different waves of people. 2nd-tier thinkers move beyond the "us vs them" mentality.

This is important because more complex solutions continue to arise around the globe such as climate change, political instability, and technological disruptions. These issues will require more 2nd-tier thinkers to integrate differing groups and perspectives to help guide humanity towards sustainable solutions.

Some common barriers to 2nd-tier thinking may include:

Knowledge of this mental model and map does not constitute actually understanding or embodiment of a specific level awareness. Knowledge does not constitute or necessarily mean full understanding or experience of said thing.

This is the pitfall of "aboutism" that is common when studying psychological development or integral theory. Be weary of this. Just because you know something does not mean you are it. Humble yourself.

If you want to go down this rabbit hole in more detail, here is the spiraling portal for that now; jump if you are ready!

Again, I want to emphasis that this mental map is an abstraction and likely does not contain all the nuances that is Life and the Universe. There is so much of the Mind we do not yet understand as the complexities and vastness is uncharted. This is only to serve as guidance and help raise our own awareness of ourselves and our development.

I am merely a stream of thoughts with ripples and waves that reflect a distortion of the actual world around.

If you want a slower and more detailed explanation of this concept. You should check out Jason Hewlett's article, aka Sloww, as he has a very digestible understanding and summary of it. Click link ^

His Library Ladder metaphor was pivotal in my understanding of horizontal and vertical development as it pertained to the Mind and Psychological Development.

Let's take some time to digest this. And hopefully create a fun parallel in pop culture [specifically Hunter X Hunter, our favorite anime] that will create a nice image in your beautiful mind.

This past week I caught up with a really close friend of mine who currently lives in the motherland of the Philippines, the Illustrious Renzo Almelor. When we were catching up, we realized there were some interesting parallels in our "life's work" that we found very interesting and fruitful.

To give you context, Renzo is currently studying really cool stuff with Marine Biology and he does a lot of fun field work (not to air it too much of his business) and he has gained a deep conceptual understanding of life and it's organisms, down to the cellular level. He's like collecting Pokemon and entering it into his Pokedex, but in real life! It's so cool. Dude literally goes scuba diving for class.

Life in the Philippines is just more fun it seems :P

There is so much I want to include from out conversation, but I got to stay focus.

Metabolism and Enzymes. This was the profound connection we found with the Mind and Spiral Development.

Here are Renzo's elegantly written notes from Metabolism, specifically Metabolic Pathways:

If you want a more detailed analysis of my interpretation of Renzo's notes, click here. I draw in this video a more in-depth explanation of metabolic pathways to the philosophy of the mind and the movement of ideas.

In this newsletter, I will only point your attention to the Spiral metabolic pathway.

This is a spiral breakdown of a molecule, specifically glucose [don't quote me on that or this; fact check me :P]. This is a catabolic pathway which is a breakdown of a complex macromolecule to a simpler molecule like water or carbon dioxide.

This can also happen in reverse where a simpler molecule can spiral upward to become a more complex system or holon. Where one whole system becomes a part of a more complex system.

Each layer of the expanding circles are a "holon" itself and is infinitely repeating itself until it encompasses the whole Universe [and perhaps beyond?]

Can you see the connection here between Metabolism and the spiral development of Meta-awareness?

As we develop this sense of awareness, we are continually expanding our metaphorical holons or circles of awareness as we move up the spiral of development. If we are looking from a bird's eye view of the spiral on a 2D plane, you can see that as we move up vertically, the circle is ever-expanding.

Woah. [I know right :P lol]

The movement of the mind and something down to molecular, cellular level with metabolism are connected. It's all interconnected. From the physical, to the mental, to the spiritual.

I also didn't realize that Metabolism itself has significant religious and spiritual significance. Just ask ChatGPT! It symbolizes Transformation and Renewal, like a Phoenix constantly being reborn again in the fire and ashes. It's a metaphor for Spiritual Growth. We see Energy itself as a Divine Force; the Life Force of the Universe.

If you haven't watched Hunter X Hunter yet, you need to watch it. It's one of, if not me and Renzo's favorite anime and we saw each other almost like Gon and Killua when I first started watching it back in 2020 during COVID-19.

The above diagram displays the power system used in the series, where each individual has a "nen-type" and it's a very complicated and well-thought out system by Yoshihiro Togashi. Beautifully written with so many nuances that I cannot explain it's entirety here.

The connection here is the movement and awareness of nen. Nen is essentially the life force and chakra needed for Hunters to develop and grow stronger. Without an awareness of nen, you aren't truly awakened yet. It requires the individual to develop their own five senses to create this sixth or higher sense.

The beauty is that this is so dynamic that it's hard for one individual to master all nen-types as you are limited by your own mind's capacity / will-power, your environment, your experiences, and even your own genetics. Your nen is always changing and dynamically evolving and can be trained to a certain degree.

There are so many nuances, pathways, skill trees, limitations that affect development, it's almost like Spiral Development :P

Here is Gon and Killua learning Nen: (peep the glass of water :b)

We are going to sit down and film a podcast and it may happen sooner than some might think! Find compounding friends. [I shot a podcast with Will Butler, be out soon!]

The Meta-strategy to Life is supreme awareness of everything and seeing how everything connects throughout Life and the Universe. God. Or whatever you believe.

Citalopram and Abilify. The Dual Dose I took while in 8th grade.

Citalopram is a Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI) that treats clinical depression.

Side Effects include: Insomnia, Drowsiness, Tremors, Restlessness, more…

Abilify® is an antipsychotic medication that helps treat several kinds of mental health conditions, including schizophrenia, bipolar I disorder, autism spectrum disorder and Tourette syndrome. It balances the levels of dopamine and serotonin in your brain to regulate your mood, behaviors and thoughts.

8th grade was a daze. My Mind was dark and foggy. My memories are fragmented. They are either vivid with imagery or I have little to no recollection. That time period was incoherent. I was in a downwards spiral, drawing connections everywhere I looked.

I was experiencing apophenia, a tendency to see meaningful connections between unrelated things. This could be harmless on the surface, however, if done to an extreme, it could be a symptom of schizophrenia. A metanoia.

You almost became schizophrenic.

it's crazy to think 10 years ago, I was spiraling out of control. I had started losing touch with my own reality, hearing voices, and seeing delusions. I wasn't sleeping.

my parents had to check me into the hospital December of 2014. I had to spend a whole week there before they could even figure out what was going on with my brain. what thoughts were passing through my mind?

I cannot remember the exact thoughts since it has been so long and I was not in a trustworthy state of mind. I do remember the emotions I felt. I felt betrayed. I felt paranoid. I felt fear. I felt hate. I felt outcasted and alone. Misunderstood. Trapped. It was hard for me to trust the doctors and my own parents. I still remember the immense pain of the spinal tap and fainting after it was done. They had to hold me down and force me to listen. Force me to see that they were only trying to help me.

I remember looking out from the window, so many stories up, staring out, wanting to be anywhere but the patient room I was locked into.

I told my Mom that I would rather jump out this window than stay here any longer.

I still regret saying that until this very day.

I felt deep shame being in the hospital. that week felt like an eternity. I would fight the doctors and nurses. I would try to pull out the IV's that were in me. I would try to push the panels of the ceiling to check for wires or microphones. it was a scary time.

There was very deep deliberations between multiple doctors trying to determine what was truly wrong. one of the doctors believed that I had schizophrenia and that we needed to start treatment as soon as possible. If this was the case, my life would have been flipped on it's head and I would never be the same again.

If we had followed that diagnosis, I am fearful as to what I would have become. Of course, at the time, my young brain couldn't comprehend what this all meant. But I could see the fear in my parent's eyes. The uncertainty of it all.

But there were moments of light and hope.

When I was able to finally sleep. when I found a calm in the storm. I remember singing You Are My Sunshine during one of the nights. I don't know what prompted me to do it. I just saw my Mom and Dad being so distressed and worried. And this was the song I felt was needed. My Mom used to sing this song when I was a little child to comfort me.

I resonated with my Grandpa. Down to his Heart and Soul.

You felt the hold in his heart.

The hold on his heart was so vividly clear. We sat there before his flight in a coffee shop for almost half an hour. I was surprised. These moments were really rare and it's hard for me to remember how many times I have actually sat down to just listen to my Grandpa Filemon.

You saw him for who he was. You came down and included him to your own being and awareness. You listened with no judgement. Simply compassion.

Often, it seems that he is the black cat of the family and often he has this mindset of feeling like a burden. But he is not a burden. He is family. Sometimes, I think even my own family forgets that. But I don't blame them. There is a deep past that my Grandpa has repressed for so long in his own family history that he did not want to see manifest into his own family, his own kids. He had to make huge sacrifices to make ends meet. Never seeing family. Working long hours at the shipyard. Being deployed out to sea away from his home with the Navy. Of course he would need to find an outlet of all his pains somewhere, even if it's not the most saint-like behavior.

You are him. You are Him. He has passed his dreams and ambitions to you. Do you accept?

When he talked of the past, his past and his deep memories, I began to feel his sadness in full force. He told me that when he thinks of the past, he often cries. He was being so vulnerable to me that I felt a strong resonance and connection hit me down to my core in this airport coffee shop on a random Wednesday morning. It hit me so hard I was reminded once again that I am so blessed. I am so lucky. I am so privileged. I didn't and likely will never have to make the sacrifices my Grandpa had to make; and further, my Grandparents, or my parents to have a better life. A life of wealth and of immense love. The Dream Life.

I stand on the shoulders of giants.

I must take what I have been given and make the world better. To serve the world and provide it the gifts I have been given. My spirit and my mind. I give to you, my friend. I won't hold back.

That day I felt closer to my Grandpa Filemon. He gave me his dreams of seeing flying cars like The Jetsons. He told me some of his deepest regrets as a Father, how he wished he hadn't spanked my Dad and Uncle as kids when discipling them. How he wishes he could've spent more time with them. When he mentioned this, I told him that I forgave him. I gave him forgiveness. And I was sure my Dad and my Uncles and Aunt would do the same. As we are family and we still have, and will always hold love in our hearts. He continued to cry and when we departed from each other, he may have still been crying. As he walked to his gate.

The deep connection you formed with Grandpa stemmed from the deep loneliness in your heart. You resonate with the outcasts, the misunderstood, the ones that are not seen.

Not long, long ago, in a not far, far galaxy a falling star is gliding across the sky. This is a different world that parallels the world of Charlie. In another multiverse…

As the Star gleamed across the Blue Day Sky [which was strange because Stars aren't out during the Day], Jake was reading the book The Meaning of Life on a bench at Munden Point. The section he was reading was Absurd Fulfillment.

Suddenly, the Star crashed into the Water and made a little splash.

Oblivious, in his own world, the young philosopher and thinker was not aware of the presence that the Star left.

Out of the water crawled Spike the Space Monkey in his red suit. Unfortunately, his full form did not translate well into this reality so he has been trapped into a toy-like form.

What is this Life?

J: who are you?

S: I am Spike the Space Monkey

J: okay?

…

J: why are you here?

S: For you.

J: who sent you?

S: He

J: who is he?

S: He [points to the sky above]

~ TSLA hit 369. Bitcoin hit 100k. DOGE coin to the Moon ~

J: what the, where did that come from?

S: beats me man, but enough on that. We must find Humanity.

There is hope in motion.

Don’t sell your soul. Beware paranoia. Beware metanoia. The places of no return.

I speak in symbols

I speak in metaphors

I speak in images

I speak in sounds

I speak in words

I speak in breath

I speak in sight.

I speak in signs.

I speak in signals.

I speak in stories.

Spirals and circles.

Spiraling and compounding. The perfect storm. Perfectly circular. The perfect spiral. Yin and Yang. Perfectly centered. Centripetal force. Gravity. The glue that holds the Universe together in perfect balance. Entropy. The Universal Flow of Energy and Chaos.

Beware. The Stars can implode on themselves and create Black Holes in their absence.

Be patient my friend, but don't wait. Nothing happens, then everything happens.

Find the signal. You'll know.

There is hope in motion.

Thanks for tuning in to this week's newsletter.

If you enjoyed this newsletter, please share it to 3 of your friends that you think would enjoy it. lol it doesn't have to be 3, but it would make me really happy and fulfilled if you just shared it to someone you love. That's all I really want for Christmas!

Next week, we descend down to reality and society. My aim for next week's newsletter is to have more practical discussion as it pertains to life today in the modern world. Money and Human Nature. The Corporate Good?

I know we went into the weeds with this week's Live Life Letters but I am curious to see what Nen type you are.

Nen Type Quiz here

Reply with your Nen type!

I retook it today and I was an Enhancer but I think this past year I was a Transmuter too [the closer Nen-types are to each other, the more likely you can branch into another type] - I am assuming my main Nen type is the Enhancer and I have Transmuter qualities that compliment it.

This past overall week was quite the spiral. I had no sleep for like two days(ish), yet it has been very fruitful and fun. Like an upward spiral generating energy on itself to no end, infinity repeating. It's almost like I am Satoru Goju from Jujutsu Kaisen while he was fighting Toji [hyperbole of course].

I've been writing a lot on X and I've been connecting with lot of strangers on the Internet in exciting ways. The X effect is spiraling and compounding. I've been talking and messaging a lot of people (shout out y'all). To the Live Life Crew, to my back-end crew in the Philippines, to so many more. Thank you. You know who you are. I love you!

Shout out to the random stranger who subscribed from X. You gave me a spark that added to the spiral.

I also hit 2,500 views total on YouTube out of the blue.

This week has felt so long but moved so fast. I felt as I was in a state of flow that kept water-hosing me down. There was one day I didn't sleep for 24 hours straight.

Here are my spiraling thoughts and writing from that day…

Spiral thoughts and writing - 12.6.24 - awake + spiral + obsession = sauce

cast of characters

000 - the meta-self [God(like), the Creator, Narrator, Universe, Archimedean POV]

001 - friendlyjakester [red kid spirit, creative self, inventor, philosopher]

002 - crazycharlie [blue calm spirit, practical self, problem solver, entrepreneur]

003 - the shadow friend [???]

004 - the hero [???]

005 - spike the space monkey

was a true exploration and stellar depiction of the soul and music from out of this world. Shout-out Jeremy Martin for guiding me to this discovery! [Honorable Mention includes Infinity Repeating]

Shout out to Larry Egalla for putting me on and for cutting my hair [it's been two years since he started cutting my hair] Lerrcut