dear friends,

welcome to my world.

in these letters, I will follow our innate power of wonder and curiosity, a journey of the mind, the self, and the soul.

as I continue to build this world and this stream of consciousness, my aim and mission is to be a guide and lighthouse for those that need it. to serve you and help you gain insights from my perspective and experience.

my main hope is to contribute to the expansion of Humanity and the Collective Human Spirit as a whole as we continue to live life in this digital world.

take everything I say and write with open skepticism, as most of what I create is pointed towards past versions of myself from my current perspective to make my future ideal self possible. time is fickle and it will continue to flow as it waits for no one.

if you are reading this, please know that I greatly love and appreciate you. thank you for taking the time to take in what I have to offer and being a supporter of my journey.

you likely have been following my thoughts for awhile. don't think you go unnoticed, I see you and appreciate your presence and your attention. thank you for being a founding friend in the flow of my world.

your friend(ly),

jakester

P.S. you should listen to this while reading for full immersion…

what is there, where there is no meaning?

space. blank space. an empty canvas. a vacuum. a reflection of nothingness. a desert solitude.

we all feel it. we all see it. we all know it’s there. the void in our hearts. the void in our souls. devoid of all meaning. we have been there before.

in our inception. in our end. and in our thoughts.

where the feeling of meaninglessness consumes you. each day feels so robotic and mindless. you struggle to find your own free will and you lack the autonomy to do what your spirit desires, of where you point your life's aim.

it's okay to be lost. to be unsure where to navigate in this void.

we have been there before…

for now, wake up.

think back to your childhood. think to when you had your first conscious thought. when you felt your first wave of emotions. when your mind no longer became mindless. you became aware of yourself.

what did you see?

for me, I just remember the warm light from one of my old homes. I remember seeing my Grandma Cora and her sister as they were biting my cheeks. I cannot recall the exact age I was, but I think I was either 2 or 3 years old. all I could do was observe.

now let's take it even further…

where do we come from before we are born? what are we then?

stick with me as I peel another veil of my soul to you. this is going to be a spiral of fun :P

you are first a soul that exists in the world of pure.

the Word came first. a thought born in the vast space of dark nothingness.

a world without words. a world without labels.

…

now imagine a box. inside the box is your soul and ideas. imagine we are outside of this box. outside looking in. this is metaphysical existence. a meta-perspective.

don't get lost now my friend.

a light shines from above. it's another opening.

we enter. we are outside the outside. we have opened Pandora's box. we could keep going but that may not be productive or fruitful. so let's stop that here and cut the infinite loop before we spiral out of control. and return to the soul and idea.

Simply put, ideas are abstracts we imagine. When you read the word "happiness" your thoughts are automatically led to the feelings you feel when you think of happiness. We imagine happiness. We can imagine a scenario where we are happy in our reality.

But be weary. Happiness is an abstract that exists in the World of Pure. In the Plane of Ideas. Plato's Theory of Forms. Happiness itself does not necessarily exist in our reality. Be careful. There are people in this world who are aware of your perceived lack of happiness and will try to profit off of you. They will try to feed you this dream that if you take this magic pill, you will be happy.

Do not set yourself up for failure and think you can obtain Pure Happiness. You will find better luck chasing dragons. We merely just pull from this higher plane pieces of "happiness" and connect it to moments in our lives. In our human experience and memory.

I promise I will delve deeper on my Personal Conception on Happiness in the future as it is part of the four eternal markets of this reality we live in which are:

Shameless plug of my current perspective on this thing we call "Happiness"

Great question. I will give you some practical reasons.

If we didn't have ideas about our ideas or if we didn't think about our thoughts, how could we expand our perspective?

How would we think critically of the perspective of others and raise our own awareness?

Without this "meta-self" it would be extremely difficult to reflect and learn. To reiterate and grow from your senses and experiences.

So expand this voice in your head. Give it space and light to grow and develop. Without this, you lose your sense of self, your autonomy, and free will. Guard it from those that vie for its control. Don't be a bot.

If you don't, it will be hard for you to see how it all comes together. Our significance in this vast universe. To see how everything is connected. To think in higher dimensions.

If you cannot develop this sense, it will be difficult for you to understand what I am about to write and this journey we are about to partake.

I cannot promise you that it will make sense. How can I describe something that could be indescribable? It may never be possible. This understanding I am trying to create may not connect. I cannot enter your mind. Nor can I change it. I can just act as a guide for you, lead you to the ideas I think of.

By opening this box, it will help you see. To develop an awareness…

enters charlie

charlie is simply a soulful spirit. he is not yet born. all he sees are colors and sounds. hues of blues. almost like water and clear skies.

but it wasn't always like this. in moments before, all he could feel was darkness. nothing but black. then a star shimmered. the light grew closer. charlie was chosen.

By God? By the Universe?

an explosion of blue bloomed around him.

the tale of the star king, novus.

there is an outcasted view that we came from the stars.

that our souls came from the stars.

that we are the stars.

we are the stars.

we, the stars.

we stars.

Charlie was a Newfound Soul.

He did not have a Conscious Awareness of what was going on…

Then something within Charlie appeared.

It was an Idea.

This caused a ripple within the space around him, in the hues of blues.

He begin to see reflections. What was it that he saw? The Ideas hit the blues and more colors began to form. More sounds began to flow. Hues of red began to blend. More Ideas began to form.

All Charlie could do was observe and absorb. Until he was born…

You are in over your head. No one is going to read this. Your nonsensical thoughts and feelings. No one cares. A storm is coming. You will spiral out of control. You will lose touch of reality. Don't you know it? You have been there before. You have stared over the edge and it almost consumed you.

Dementia Praecox - the Breakdown of the Ego - a Psychotic Breakdown.

Metanoia is a Greek term that generally refers to a profound change in one's mind, heart, or way of life. The term is often translated as "repentance," but its deeper meaning encompasses a transformative shift in perspective, attitude, or purpose.

Key Contexts of Metanoia:

Metanoia highlights the idea that change is not only possible but can lead to renewal and growth.

[I ripped this from ChatGPT :P]

At an early age, I experienced Metanoia or as I would like to call it, a "meta-awakening" of sorts. It came while I was in middle school, the year before high school.

This was a very dark time period for me and I scared a lot of people and loved ones. I lost touch with reality, consumed by paranoia. I fell into a psychosis, having delusions, hallucinating, and hearing voices from the depths of the mind.

My mind would not rest and would continue to work overtime. I would not sleep. My mind would not let me sleep as it would race and spiral. Race and spiral to no end, to infinity, until my body would finally shut down. There were moments where I wouldn't go to sleep for like 2-3 days. I would maybe get an hour or two of rest before the psychosis would begin again.

I wasn't sure if I was going to make it back to reality or return to some form of "normalcy" or if this would become the new normal.

Not to spoil the ending… but if you are reading this, then you must know that I eventually made it out.

My mind was chaos. It fell into disorder and disarray. It was a storm, filled with many dark emotions that we all want to repress and keep hidden. Anxiety. Depression. Insanity. To feel outcasted by society. Yet, within the storm, I found the eye. The calm within the storm. The order within the chaos.

In the eye of the storm, I was able to experience a deep, profound introspection of who I was. Of my own existence. Of my purpose. There was a sense of awareness that I gained that felt significantly different from before. To recognize the interplay between Life and Death. To recognize what really mattered in this World (hint: it wasn't school or grades). The storm passed but a new person emerged beyond the clouds.

I am really grateful I experienced this Metanoia at an early age. This chaos of the mind was inevitable. Who knows what would have happened to me in the later years of my life…

Entropy. The Universal Law of Disorder and Chaos.

It is the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics. It states that in any given system, we (things in the universe) naturally progress from order to disorder unless acted upon by external forces or added energy to maintain or restore order. It's the rule of equivalent exchange. We must produce and consume energy in order to maintain a certain level or baseline.

It is simply the flow of energy. The interplay between two entities. Between Order and Disorder. Good to Evil. Cold to Hot. Clean to Messy.

For me, I just imagine my messy room. Due to my mind naturally progressing to disorder and disarray through the daily stressors of life and the craziness that runs through this stream of consciousness, my room tends to get messy really fast. If left on its own, clothes pile up all over the floor, the bed is not made, random objects are spread on top of drawers. It becomes difficult to think clearly and find things. I almost always find it difficult to find clean socks or underwear. (don't act like you haven't experienced this before :P)

If you haven't made the connection yet, this is just a metaphor to your Mind. To the box that contains your Soul and Ideas. If left unattended with no meta-correction, your Mind will fall into disorder and disarray. Here, it becomes hard to distinguish between up and down, left and right. People often confuse their natural mental disarray to a mental disorder or illness. Don't fall into that pitfall and do the needed inner metacognitive work before making the jump to relying on big pharma or other modern artificial methods which may not have your best interests in mind (these are necessary in extreme cases; do your due diligence and be an advocate for yourself - I do advocate for therapy but you got to find the right therapist).

You know your Mind best. This is your Judgement Call to make. Have Trust in your Mind and in your Spirit to have the needed tools to produce the needed Energy to maintain Order. Or someone else will do it for you.

You know best. Use your Intuitive Spirit and Spiral Up.

Thank you for making it to the end of our first newsletter. This is only the beginning of a new progression. A new era.

Don't hesitate to reach out. I love hearing your insights and feedback :)

See you on the other side :P til next week! [either Saturday or Sunday]

How To See - The Power to Observe & Gain Awareness

As a test to see how many of you made it through all the way, I would love to see you fill this questionnaire from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon. If you are a true Pokémon fan, you will do the Full Quiz.

I was a Cyndaquil growing up (timid) but today I am a Riolu or Totodile (sassy)

cast of characters

000 - the meta-self [God(like), the Creator, Narrator, Universe, Archimedean POV]

001 - friendlyjakester kid spirit, creative self, inventor, philosopher

002 - crazycharlie calm spirit, practical self, problem solver, entrepreneurial

003 - the shadow friend [???]

…