to be free as bird.

dear friends,

Dare to Dream.

Take your time. Be still. Turn off the noise. Open up. Be still. 躺平! Be patient. No fear. Have grace. Do it scared. Listen. Pray. Reflect. Dream. Failure. Pursuit. Meaning. Live with love. Move. Keep moving! Keep going! Keep flying! Keep love. Live on. Push on. Have resolve. Find RESOLVE. Do what resonates. Be grateful. Be real. Be honest. Keep working. Witness your Soul. Witness the Mind. Witness GOD. Witness Nature. Witness Self. Write. Document. Capture. Live.

Live. Write. Live. Document. Capture. Live. Keep writing the Book. Find Love. Find it. Find Essence. Seek what is. Seek Truth. Live a poetic existence. Remind yourself. Remind yourself of who you are. Be honest. Listen to the Heart. Wander. Wonder. Live. Curate your curiosity. Find direction. Walk. Hone your Compass. Hone your Craft. Hone in practice. Incomplete, we are. We are wholly incomplete. Accept. Love is. Love self. Love gap. Love GOD. Love love. Learn. Recurse. Strange loop. I am a strange loop!

Loop. Loop of love. Spiral of love. Spiral of self. Pause. Synthesize. Bind. Converge. Diverge. Think. Find motion. There is hope in motion. Release. Release the weight. Release the pressure. Use the pressure. FAITH. Live with Faith. Examine presence. Examine the Crux. In flux, we are. Let Love flow. Aspire. Spirit. Have spirit. Be real. Love. Inspire. Create understanding. Create the bridge. Create signal. Connect. See. Open your eyes. Awake! Go! 加油! Fly! Carry Heart.

[1.14.26] (orange journal) ...

Who am I; I know who I am! Who must I become?
A playful endeavor, full of play. What do you risk? What luck will persist?
Take a gamble, take a gander. Do you know what you are looking for?
Life is lived in the uncertain; how naturally unpredictable, we are!

your friend(ly)
jakester

P.S. space; pace with grace.

Aim: how to carve space for play towards freedom; to be free as a bird!

I have this fear of rejection.

I’m afraid to admit. I fear failure, more than I can admit. I have these doubts, they grow heavy. It’s ridiculous and I can’t help but let it grow and fester. 'What a jester I am!' to think I can escape this fear. I am afraid to admit. I feel like crap.

But this fear, this idea, these feelings are what make me. It’s this fear that makes me feel crap. This is where meaning is forged. This is where it is formed, in this fear. We fear because we have love. We fear because we have a cause worthy of being feared for. We fear our own purpose. In that, we overwhelm ourselves, almost forgetting the whole purpose. What a great way of having a never-ending inquiry. There is no end to this fear. I fear there is nothing in the end.

This fear, it is yours to hold.
Why do you fear?
Are you really going to allow it to hold you?
To stop you? To prevent you from play?

What is there to fear, truly?
I fear God. I mustn’t fear anything else?
I fear my self. I shouldn’t be afraid of my own shadow?
I fear the world. Why is the world so scary?

There is nothing to fear in the end. Nothing? ‘What is unfolding?’ I ask myself, trying to remember the words that came before (me)?

Fear is folded into the essence of meaning; what story will unfold before you? 'Free yourself from this fear. What is true freedom? What is holding you back?' I mirror to myself. Who am I imitating; what image am I shaping for the self I am imagining? Do you imagine yourself happy and fulfilled?

[1:35AM, 1.20.26]

The bridge to meaning; Natural unpredictability?
'The world is becoming so predictable,' says the robot. Goodness of the heart, gamble, dice; what emerges but life and death?

What is in our fate?
What is in our faith?
What is in our heart?

Goodness of the heart?
Out of place, are we?

Learning how to forget
Learning what to remember.

How do we best enjoy our learning?

A free and independent mind. Self-conscious humility. Freedom of thought; Passionate education. A true love for wisdom. A fear within the thrill. The space of uncertainty creates the stakes within the heart.

Fear reminds you that you have a heartbeat. It reminds you of the nerves, of your mortality, of how fragile life truly is. Do not fear fear itself. Fear only what is worth fearing for. What do you fear?

To find new lines of 'play' requires a certain level of uncertainty.

If you are following a new line of play in any form of game, you must leave space for emergence. For inspiration to fill the void of the empty, new territory undiscovered within the mind, you must allow space to be open and carved out. If all was certain, you would not be attempting a new line of play.

Life is a gamble.
"What is your style of play?"
"What is your style of truth?"

If you wait until you are certain, you lose the scent; the scent of finding a new line of play. Imagined possibility; the nose of inspiration. The opportunities you once smelled may move on before you even move. There are certain moments where you must trust instinct, trust gut feeling to just let it rip. To pursue the line. Borderline reckless, yet strategic. 'A gamble,' I call it. It is best to move right before certainty. Have certitude in the self to propel forward; but, do not rely on certainty for movement to occur. Entrepreneurs like to describe this feeling as "innovation."

When life becomes monotonous and stagnate, you must create a moon shot. To imagine what is possible. A dream in which inspires and leads you. A north star to prevent you from developing a cold indifference towards life and apathy towards others. To find a new line of 'play' the jester would say. To shape the new image of self living before and after you. Imagine and take the step forward. Do you have Faith in yourself?

You do not need to have certainty to have Faith.

"What is the meta?"

Everyone who desires to succeed likes to ask this question to get ahead. We desire for a quick solution to impact our lives now for whatever internal reason or fear. We want change now and we want to use a strategy that allows us to win.

At times, it can be a helpful question. Imitation often leads to success. There's no need to reinvent the wheel. It's highly practical to learn from others, to discover "the meta" of what is working within today's world and society. Yet, if you imitate too much, it can often lead to a monotonous lifestyle.

Whenever I see someone playing "the meta" strategy within any version of a game, I often come to the conclusion that the person I am playing does not like to have fun or they lack creativity. They have no style or thought of their own! 'Did you even try to carve space for your own flair and identity?' I jest with the power of exaggeration and ego. I cannot blame nor judge. If my counterpart is using an optimized strategy that works and gets them results, I can't knock them for taking on that line of play.

Yet, I challenge and rebel. 'Let me show you a new line of play,' I say in my head. In chess, I like to find new lines of play. If I were to describe my 'play' style, I would describe it as chaotic and nonsensical (a non-strategy grants freedom and courage to be the fool). At times, this can prove to be highly inefficient and foolish. While on certain times, it can be seen as "innovative", "unpredictable” or “pure randomness.” I like to describe it as “creativity” of the self, expressing itself.

Do you play to your strengths; your unfair advantages?

Caveat: do not try to reinvent the wheel, create entire new systems; yet, challenge yourself to have your own thought and creativity within spaces unseen. When it comes to money-making activities, follow systems that work. When it comes to life-making activities, follow the heart and soul, the style of which resonates to you and you alone. Curate for the mind and self. By finding what resonates, it gives you the resolve to develop your own taste and style.

Test the boundaries. Surpass limits. Get a taste of freedom. This is the space where you can develop your own taste and style. Style can be created, it can be discovered. A feeling of unlocking a new level, a new dungeon, a new space; uncharted territories of the mind and soul. Test your taste. Find your style. Don't think too hard. Don't be so certain. Test and iterate; your taste awaits! Intuition will follow.

‘what is the burn rate?’ wondered by the mind as I stand, waiting a hot chocolate and hot cider at the Fourth Wall (how random to be in the heart of New Orleans within the French Quarter)! Do you feel the immanence, the peace, the wandering souls of jazz and blues?

‘what must I do to go beyond?’ a playful thought of imagining, ‘what must I become?’ screams the chinks within the armor I call my “self” image.

Fear. The container of these thoughts. The membrane of emotion. ‘Fear, a constrainer or propeller?’ of motion, speaking to me, through the burn. You need restraints to create the power of flow, the origins of life reflect. Think, like a beaver and his dam.

‘Will the fear act as fuel or a deterrent?’ as the gas burns, what growth is earned, 加油！The screaming lady of bullets spray. ‘I am not at war,’ chuckled a jester, ‘why do I act as if I am some great general, fighting some grand war?’ the shadows stare down from the dead. “War should not be romanticized or sought out for," speaks the shadowed strategist of the dead. "Byzantine Generals Problem, Trust, Pyle the Poet, deception, the Art of War," percolates these related yet random thoughts, "have you learned nothing from the Second Great War?"

"The quickest way to become a pacifist is to join the infantry."

The four freedoms. The last two spoken from the great man, stated: "freedom from want, freedom from fear," with a resonating haunt. 'If we held these freedoms globally, could we have prevented the Second Great War?' in retrospect, I bring to relevance: 'can we prevent a third?'

‘What does it mean to be free? What is true freedom?’ a naive bird glides by the window accompanied by a soothing tune of musical winds. ‘I can smell freedom… I can see it, at times. To feel free, euphoric or eudaemonic?’ those daemons tempt me so. I feel a presence, an immanence. These spirits, they follow.

Do they know what true freedom is? Does anyone? I believe we can get close. Find freedom within your self-image, your identity, your soul. It's not far, you control the distance. The tension is yours to play with. Be playful in your approach, do not be so rigid. The flames of freedom will bend your will. Imagine! Imagination overcomes willpower when the two are at odds. 'You must imagine freedom!'

‘It burns, with no regard to pain, you go aflame,’ freedom speaks so freely and determined. As if fate were to have it no any other way. Freedom feels as if it was meant to be, as if all was right with the world, as if the winds pick up your sails, as if the flow was not yours to begin with. To breathe is to burn. To breathe freedom is to burn. 'Do birds feel this burn?'

Listen to the anthem musing on ultimate freedom and the uncontrollable need to roam. This burning desire of a...

"Free bird"