enter your dream state

dear friends,

In this week's letter, I cover some topics relevant to identity, the self, and human consciousness. There is a lot to unpack, but I do believe there is a ton of golden nuggets throughout that you may find valuable.

I hope in the New Year of 2025, you set goals and aims that inspire you, that fill you to the brim — a way to make yourself feel whole.

Pursue projects that fill your Soul and moves your Heart. Identify with your Dream.

For most of you reading this, I want to thank you again for following along the journey. I really do enjoy how this is all unfolding — I have a sense that we are on the cusp of greatness.

I don't want to sound too overconfident or cocky. But I firmly believe that I need to be a little delusional and crazy to shape this into something meaningful and impactful — to make it my life's work.

Now let's boogie.

your friend(ly)

jakester

you are a great genuine pretender — a genuinely great actor in a well-thought out play. do you think you are real in your imaginary games?

do you really think you can maintain this act forever?

let me spell it out for you — I have a theory that you lack authenticity.

you are someone who authentically embraces a role of pretense. A jester at heart who acknowledges the act of pretending as part of their own reality.

you know this is an act — an act to appease others. you make no attempt to hide this very fact. the world is shallow after all.

your identity is fluid; a fluid spiral that you believe to be beautiful and well-thought out. at least you acknowledge the masks that you wear, blurring the lines between authenticity and performance.

The dancer between what is good and of what is evil. The jester can act a fool in front of the King, yet be one with the people through the hues of humor.

The King's Ear.

They can enact chaos, weave it into the depths of others, while still being clear of their own intention.

The Jester is a powerful player and should not be overlooked. The power in making others laugh is truly a bend for their hearts. By controlling their hearts, they can bend their will. Bend their focus. Bend their attention. Bend their lives.

Be weary of those that use humor for their own self-gain. The Jestering Prince is an Intelligent Synergy that can prove fatal.

The Jester with Machiavellian Principles will pull your strings like a puppet and make you dance in ways you wouldn't even realize.

The Paradox of Wisdom disguised as foolishness — Do not be fooled! Do not be fooled by the House of Mirrors and Illusions.

Have reverence for the Power of Humor.

The Jester’s power lay not in formal authority but in the unique ability to weave truth, humor, and insight into a form that transcended the rigid hierarchies of their time. They remind us of the enduring value of wit and perspective in challenging power.

as children, we all want to be the heroes of our own stories — we have such pure dreams through our vivid imaginations that can weave tales of castles and dragons in just a moment's notice.

we were the best kinds of genuine pretenders — we knew it was all pretend, an imaginary game to fuel our child-like wonders.

I dreamt of being a hero through the various tales of being a knight, a wizard, or a dragon tamer!

I was definitely a weird kid growing up (still am). Shy, quiet, and a keen observer of my fellow little peers - pre high school Jake.

I never initiated - only reacted. I was attentive to the buttons that would elicit a positive response. I felt joy in making others feel joy. A relief from my fear of being disliked. Fear of mudding the perfect image I crafted.

I have a feeling the fear and hesitation I had slowly outgrew the joy as I aged. I was not my full self. I was not striving to be —

I was an extrovert's best friend — I was always sure to hide my hesitations and I would never say no in fear that my counterpart would be disappointed or sad.

I was always a listening ear. I was patient and I bided my time until I saw an opportunity to fill in the gaps with my humor. When I was able to become comfortable - suddenly I became an expert weaver of humor.

I mastered the art of awkwardness creating the most random and bizarre responses — using the weapon of surprise. It was a fun juxtaposition (although sometimes it would backfire - especially when I first started talking to certain individuals with cooties in middle school :P).

I never really strived to be normal. I never wanted to be, but sometimes I did envy those who were.

How could a quiet kid like Jake have such a funny, bizarre way of composing words?

And for awhile, I was content with my genuine pretending. I knew this was all a pretense. I knew it — and I internalized a lot until that fateful day.

the day my spark was almost lost to the void.

the conception of a god — the birth of the ____ self ?

who am I?

I am Jake Ochave

I am @jakelovesrice

I am @friendlyjakester

I am @mrcharliesllc

In the age of profilicity, we have curated these profiles of ourself — or rather ourselves, with the awareness that they will be viewed from a second-hand account.

Is this okay?

I think it is — and I am not alone in thinking this.

Hans-Georg Moeller, professor at the University of Macau has discussed this topic heavily in his book You and Your Profile: Identity After Authenticity with Paul D Ambrosia.

Personally, I haven't read this book yet but I think I have a general idea on how it will go based on book reviews and his YouTube video I watched of him describing his viewpoint.

I guess what prompted me to resonate with this "Profilicity" concept was when reflecting on my own "authentic" self.

Growing up, we are told to "Be Yourself" but that implies only one true self — we did not consider on the possibility on there being many true selves.

When we are told this lofty old adage, we are left with little guidance.

Fortunately, the Profilicity Mental Framework provides some light in explaining one's own identity in the digital age — the age of social media.

When thinking in this framework, I feel granted with more freedom to toy and play with my own identity — to create a cast of characters and various voices.

When you try to "Be Yourself" or attempt to become "More Authentic" you often fall into the Authenticity Paradox — you create a persona you believe to "Be Authentic" | when in reality, you don't even know what it means to be authentic.

Under Profilicity, we can create identities with profiles, curating our own image to an audience we deem fit.

How is this any better? — Sounds like Black Mirror.

It seems we have escaped one cage only to find us trapped in an even bigger cage, surrounding the previous cage — but let's not give up hope yet!

…

Here's some more nuance.

I'd like to think the various profiles we curate are in conversation with one another.

The versions you set for

They must be connected in some way. It would seem absurd for any one version to be isolated from the others (although some could be).

But I wonder, who oversees or mediates these conversations? Perhaps this is the authentic true self we speak of.

The narrator of the story who can meticulously (or bluntly) influence the whole outcome of the plot.

The voice in our head, that thinks — what will others think?

The character in the play that is connected to the audience who breaks the fourth wall — what do you think?

The one who will think it, ponder it, and have an awareness of it before those who see the spectacle seems to be the narrator of the story.

The Meta-Self —- or perhaps God himself?

We all have dreams. We all need dreams — a tie to our Mind and Soul.

Why do you think we dream? — a part of me believes we are our purest selves when we dream; nothing holds us back from being who we are.

No ego. No conscious effort.

The beauty in dreams is that we hold the capacity to unconsciously imagine worlds upon worlds, stories upon stories, moments upon moments. No real coherency is necessarily needed, but somehow it all makes sense in a nonsensical way.

Quantum Consciousness.

There are no clear steps to what is beyond — I do not think it is strange to say that the beyond feels like space with no direction of what is up or down, left or right.

The beyond is a scary place. It can be a dark place full of Soul Murderers lurking to take you down into the depths. I want to warn you if you intend to go beyond.

Don't be the Hero.

Do not be blinded by your lofty aspirations of being the fabled knight in your favorite fairy tales — there are real dangers and risks when exploring the depths of your mind.

Be a child. Be a wanderer who is capable of fear. Be curious, yet afraid. Be afraid of the dark corners of your mind, where you heart skips a beat. Be a frightened curious child, attentive to the shadows on the wall.

Don't be a Hero.

The overly righteous and just hero is distasteful in the eyes of the God. Hubris is a deadly poison that can sneakily take over even the most genuine of heroes.

I don't remember falling asleep. Before I realized, I had slipped into sleep. The slippery slope. The infinite fall into dreams.

Within the first dream, I found myself sleepy. This time I fell into sleep intentionally. I wanted to go to sleep — so I did.

A dream within a dream. I dreamt of a land full of light. It was blinding me. I couldn't keep my eyes open. So I kept them shut. Unbeknownst to me again, I fell asleep.

The third dream. I accomplished many deeds in my dreams.

I can hear in my sleep. In my environment, my loved one laid next to me, talking on the phone with her sister. Was this sleep paralysis? Or some weird divine gift granted to me?

This happened often when I was a kid. I would see things that would haunt me. I hated falling asleep as that was when the shadows ran most rampant. Is this why I am a sleepless fool? An insomniac with no desire to sleep.

Day in and day out, I was sleepless. I ran my mind over a cliff. As I was falling, I fell asleep.

The fourth dream - rather, a nightmare. I was running endlessly through a forest. The beast followed. It seemed that it was everywhere I looked. The eyes seemed infinite, around every corner — I couldn't escape it.

Everywhere I went, it was there. Until finally it ran it's claws onto me.

Then I woke up, I hoped.

Charlie was deep into his sleep as his ship was rocking through the waves of the ocean blue.

A familiar voice begun to recite itself.

the uncertainties of the undefined.

the future dreams and aspirations within oneself.

the vision and manifestation of one’s own ideas, desires, and ambitions.

in this imagined world that is undefined with no end.

this world is boundless.

this dream is boundless.

this mind is boundless.

…

you know no bounds.

you are bounded to this world.

but what is in this world beyond?

…

the soul knows no bounds.

you are a soul first.

a body second.

the body is bounded by space and time.

your soul is endless.

the stream of thoughts within your soul are endless.

the waves continue to crash beyond the body.

ever pressing the perceived limits of the universe.

the consciousness and the human spirit of wander.

it goes beyond the stars.

beyond this world.

…

through the gates of Heaven.

the door reappears.

this door is undefined.

is it even a door?

…

the door opens.

we know it’s a door

because we have defined and labeled it as a door.

but this does not feel like the doors we have ever seen.

this is not just a door.

…

the lights flood the openings of the door.

do you enter?

your child like voice screams for it.

you have this drive to enter.

but you resist.

…

you feel unworthy.

you feel unprepared of what’s next.

this leap of faith.

it calls you.

how do you trust it?

do you let it take you?

…

this is the portal to the pure world, the world of abstracts, a dream like world

…

the door starts to fade.

the edges begin to fade.

you reach your hand towards it.

as you did as a child towards the stars.

…

Then, out of the blue, the dream shifted. The path shifted — derailed off track.

J: spike, do you love life?

S: yes, of course Jake.

J: why do you love life?

S: do you not love life?

J: sometimes I am not sure...

S: why do you think that is?

J: I am not really sure. what is it about life that you love?

S: the possibility that I can help humanity.

J: you sure are a spike of hope, I aspire to be like you one day.

S: you are me.

Jake is silent. Then, he suddenly is knocked to sleep. Unaware that he had fallen asleep, he falls into the depths of his dreams.

A funny looking fellow then appears in front of Jake. He seemed like the friendly type with a comical appeal. Suddenly, the little jester took a squat and pooped a banana while making the most cartoon fart noise.

Jake couldn't contain himself and almost bursted out laughing.

"Would you like to play a game?" approaches the friendly stranger.

J: I like games. What's the game?

[007]: just step here and I will reveal it to you, you fool!

Suddenly the surroundings around Jake shifted and he found himself on a railroad track. Above him, he saw the face of the not-so-friendly stranger — he was like that of the Sun. Jake had shrunk into some dome controlled by him.

"Riddle me this, which do you chose?"

Jake hears a loud noise. In front of him was a life-size toy train rushing at him at full speed. He turned left and saw five little brown boys of various ages.

A 3 year old, a 6 year old, a 9 year old and the others were either like 12 or 14 years old. In front of Jake was a lever.

"Decide Jake! You don't have much time!" the jester laughed. "But take a closer look before you chose!"

The train was approaching fast — Jake likely had 20 seconds at most left. The kids were screaming in terror. He took another look at them and his heart dropped even further, straight down to the depths of the void.

Those kids were him. Younger versions of himself. Jake saw no way out. But he was tempted to let them just die. To kill off his past selves — almost like he premeditated this situation himself.

J: I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I want to die?

As the train inches away at the split, Jake pulls the lever quick. The world flashes white . . .

At World’s end, I am in tune with everything in the past, everything in the future, and everything in the end.

In the Present, I can see the Future in their Eyes with the Pains of the Past.

The Mind, Body, and Soul can see everything within its Own Bounds.

The Entire Universe.

This is not Death.

This is the True End.

The True End of Creation has begun.

Don't forget who you are, my friend.

Just as you are capable of monstrous acts, you are capable of feeling like a kid again.

I love you — To the End and Back.

cast of characters / voices

000 - the meta self [God-like Eye, the Creator, Narrator, Universe]

001 - friendlyjakester [red kid spirit, creative self, inventor, philosopher]

002 - crazycharlie [blue calm spirit, practical self, problem solver, entrepreneur]

003 - the shadow friend [???]

004 - the hero [???]

005 - spike the space monkey

006 - the devil

007 - the jester

the world beyond & the star king,

landing into the sea of serenity…

David Foster Wallace, author of 1996 novel Infinite Jest