crux of desire & image

dear friends,

Who are you? (take the space x time to ask, of ‘who you are?’)

The essence that follows. Do you notice and take witness?

You are not your desire; down to your essence, your core. ‘What are you?’

What membrane(s) surround(s) your identity? What drives you; what allows you to live; to feel alive? Who is viewing this self-image of the self?

Find the space for the self to be free. Imagine yourself, contained. Imagine yourself, free. Where do you place your Faith? Where do you find Resolve?

Decide who you must become within these moments; moments of time. Now is the continuation of the past and future, bound together. What constrains you? What sets you free, between these alters of joy and suffering?

Love, Spirit, Awareness, Responsibility; The Four Winds and Four Freedoms; to see sight, hear audio, feel sense; What sense do you have?

The Odyssey of Self we set on, to sail the ocean blue of mind and soul; Pray your journey be a long one. Pray your mind and soul to take. Trust in self. Trust in Love. Question desire. Question the rush.

What is left?

your friend(ly)
jakester

P.S. nowhere knows!

Control your lust.
Control your desire.
Control your spirit; what is really within your control?

You are an animal, are you not?
You contain an anima and an animus?
You yourself know what is not known; how so?

What are you?

You must exist.
You must be alive.
You must feel love.

You are not your desire; down to your essence, your core, ‘what are you?’ Find the space for self to be free. Imagine yourself, contained. Where do you place your faith?

Yet, you are your desire. It shapes who you become. It drives you. You are an awareness of your desire. Imagine yourself, free. What drives your awareness? Do you desire to be aware? Is your awareness driven by desire?

'You slip once more.'
"Where do you slip to?"
'Slip of the tongue, slip of the pen, slip of time!?'
"How silly, your sight in flight, you try to fight. Blinded by light!"
'Plato, so imaginative. How could you imagine a world beyond worlds?'
"My name is not Plato."
'Who are you?'

Love.
Spirit.
Awareness.
Responsibility.

A membrane of trust. The cardinal truths. What direction do you aim and steer?
What is desire? What is the role of pleasure; between eudaemonia and euphoria? The strings that pull the strings that pull. String back, the puppeteer's shadow! He who pulls the strings falls into his own; desire.

The crux we bury. Self-inflicted. Self-fulfilling. Imagine, the dream self. You must have a vision to fall into. The imaginative force is a crux you set on yourself. Do you slip into your own self-identity?

Subject and object. Subject of self; object of mind. The two, in dialogue with one another, when in oscillation, the strange loop is expressed. The subject becomes object and the object becomes subject. How do you unify between the self and object; what is within human cognition?

A cursed recursion, a shape forming. Molded by those hands of yours. Who hands you your fate? How do you call upon and place your faith?

'You are not solely your desire' your soul speaks to self.
"What are you?"
'A walking contradiction, a dialectic between opposites.'
"Do you take flight or do you fight?"
'I live.'

'It must be quite difficult to be nothing.'

Pure being contradicts itself to become pure nothing; pure nothing contradicts itself to become pure being. Being is nothing and nothing is being. What is pure nothingness; pure essence?

If the term “nothing” has a meaning, then it means something, and hence not nothing. The term “nothing,” if it has a meaning at all, is not nothing, and hence contradicts itself.

Life is in constant motion; essence negates itself as pure inwardness; static identity is near impossible, if at all. Power in the movement, the inwards and outwards breathe; power in meditation. What is self-evident?

"We hold these truths to be self-evident..."
'...the autotelic inquiry of self!'

Integration/disintegration of self; to imitate self of past/future to present. The shadow of self negates the self; yet, the shadow is the self. The paradox of selfhood. Imagine the self successful, a self-fulfilling prophecy. of will, desire, and imagination. To call upon a version of self; what is possible for the self?

actor + frame = symbol (of self)

what is immanent?
what is immanence?
what is non-immanence?
what is immersion?
what is illusion?
what is non-illusion?
what is love?
what is hate?

It is a choice.

Who do you frame for your misfortunes?
For your luck? For all that is?

How do you see it? How do you use it? How do you break it? How do you create with it? Where is the through line? Occam's razor; Don't overcomplicate a concept meant to be simple. Burn, baby burn! Down to the core. Down to the essence. What is left? What survives? What is resolved?

I imagine myself free. Free from desire. Free from want. Free from greed. Free from fear. Free from freedom itself. Detachment is full acceptance. I placate myself by squashing my own resentment, desire, passion; returning to sacred blankness through meditation, prayer, and spiral writing.

'Emptying of the self' as they say. "Who says?" says the shadow.
'I imagine myself empty' trying to speak to nothing.
A friendly spirit nods back; "Give your mind the space it needs to carve out its way of being. Of what is! Of what was and what will."

'What is?'

imagination. direction. will. intention. consciousness. awareness. master and slave dialect and relation. frame of mind; mental-models and frames. psycho-cybernetics. containers of thought and desire. rebellion. conflicting thought and emotion. passion; an aim worth suffering for? must we suffer? must we relieve pain... must we feel pain? disequilibrium; hedonic adaptation, constant moon shots, redox! breathe, don't forget. what must be forgotten? what must be let go? desire. sire. siren. ren. 人.

I imagine a dream self. This dream self is me. A figment of the future tied to the past by the present. I am more real in my dreams. I imagine this reality to be true. I imagine myself blessed, fortunate, lucky, I am! I know I am lucky. I know I am blessed. Consciously, I set this frame. Whatever we decide, we are right. With kind skepticism, I navigate towards the direction I desire. I must align and clean my desire. Detach from desire. Fully accept my desire; 'To fly or to resolve?'

Be honest with what is.
A dream self, I imagine.

S: 'I call upon the meta-self!'
'show me the code to uncovering the true self!'
J: "how silly, a jest!"
S: 'master, don't bait me!'
J: "don't be so ridiculous, you fool."
S: 'my faith is in love, nothing else!'
J: "what are you, Shakespeare? Don't act as if you are Romeo, you overly romantic pen."
S: 'where else shall I place my belief?'
J: "are you nothing but a gambler?"

'life is a gamble.'
"free yourself from this talk."
'than what else are we to talk about?'
"do not speak; listen!"
'I am all ears.'
"you put me on the spot, take witness."
'witness to what?'
"to what is."
'I've heard this before, but what does that mean?'
"to try to define what is defeats the purpose; self-defeating!”
'don't play with me.'
"you've played with me first, master-bait-her."
'you are the master, I revere your word. Don't placate me when I follow you with my ear.'
"so demanding for a servant, are you always so self-serving?"
'is it wrong to be self-interested?'
"are you but your own desire?"
'I don't mean to be cynical, but I am my own ego, my own desire.'
"who controls your desire?"

S: self, shadow, sage, servant, slave

J: jester, joker, judge, jumper, juggler

I am running out of steam... loss in translation, what is lost?
In this pursuit, in this endeavor, this adaptation, what is lost?
For the sake of love, of desire, of freedom, of life, what is lost?
I wander on, wondering when the drive for more ends; what is lost?

We are driven towards some hunger, some divine sense, some higher intuition, driven by desire towards the purest beauty known to our eyes, of what we can take hold of, of what we are capable of witnessing. What are we a witness to, beyond life itself? Is it worth pursuing, worth examining, worth the trouble? What is the burn rate of pursuing such an endeavor? Is it a worthy goal to become a Challenger? Do we risk burning up within the beautiful sky above, for Discovery?

What is worth losing? Is anything ever truly lost?
True disintegration of the self; fragmentation and loss. What is found within the shadows of self? The integrative process is a flame; everflowing, revealing the inner most vices, resolves, and essence of who you are. Do you get to decide what is revealed? Of what is chosen? Of what is pulled out the depths?

The strings of self; slip-stream, is but a dream. The dream of self, we gravitate towards, cybernetikos. κυβερνητικός (kubernētikós), which means "skilled in steering or governing.

We create the root, the anchors, the crux, the center-point. Do you control the center of your board? To what self flows? The stream of self; constant disequilibrium desiring for perfect equilibrium, searching endlessly (like Elvis the Searcher), hedonic adaptation. Keep moving, moon shot! A silhouette of self follows. The constant flux of self, of life, of being! The flow never ends. Constrain the gradience. The pressures can be designed, contained, understood; but, never fully grasped in certainty. Incompleteness theorem, uncertainty principle, the sin of man... etc.

No formal system can ever prove itself fully.

God is in the gaps; Devil is in the details. Why is this?
Faith. Where do you go?

Return home.
Strange home.
I am a strange loop!
A strange journey, Odysseus!

'Do you find home in others?'